Lunch break!!

I had to take Eliot home from daycare today because of a stomach bug. She was not happy about it at all. (Who likes to leave the playground under any circumstances?)Since I had to hand her off to Dad I woke Ben up while I was at home and nursed him. He nursed so well from one side that I went back to work lopsided!! So worth it though! I may not need to pump at all. I like to breastfeed from one side at each feeding. If Ben is still hungry I'll offer the other side but generally I don't have to. Especially at night I don't like to switch sides. Hook up and go back to sleep is the name of the game. Ben is almost able to snuggle up and latch on without any help if I don't have shirt on. I give him one more month and he will be a pro.

Refusing the bottle

OK, this is actually a good thing. Ben is almost 3 and a half months old. He has been nursing well for a few weeks. I have plenty of milk in the fridge and I am pumping at work. He has started to not drink a lot from a bottle with Dad. Dad is a bit worried. I am happy! He would rather wait for "ninnies" from mama!! As long as he takes an ounce or two of breastmilk from something while we are seperated to stay hydrated I am fine with this new development. Annika did the same thing. She was a bit older though. Ben eats all night long so I am sure he is getting what he needs.

Pretty much back to normal

I am back at work after a successful weekend of nursing. Baby Ben got one bottle of expressed breastmilk to give me a little break but that was it. I am pumping at work right now. Mondays are always the worst. have to get back in the swing oj pumping after having the weekend off. I have noticed that he will nurse real quickly and be done in about five minutes and be good for hours sometimes. I wonder if he is really getting enough. Then I step back and remember that even if he eats less it is of such high quality he doesn't need as much. I still keep those formula checklist in the back of my head. I need to clear them out!

The effect of pain

I have had a sensitive spot on my right breast since Friday night. I am not sure if it is a blocked duct or something else. All I know is that it feels like a big bruise that keeps getting pressed on. My mood has been horrible. I had a very short fuse on Saturday and just wanted to stay in bed all day. I am better now but it is amazing how a little pain can effect all those around you. Ben got a bottle of expressed milk to give me a break yesterday.

Wow! Almost 2 weeks..

It has been nearly two weeks that Ben has been nursing for all his feeds when I am with him. He still gets one to two bottles of expressed breastmilk from a bottle when I am at work but the rest is fresh from the tap! What's going to be interesting is that this Sunday I will be working in the nursery at church. I want to take him but I will be working and not be able to just ignore the other children and feed him. I may have other infants to hold. I will definitely bring my sling but I am sure my hands will be full!

Whoa.....

My supply was all over the place today, literally. I was so full at work that I actually had to pump early because I was starting to hurt some and it was distracting. I guess I was thrown off from yesterday. I nursed Ben at work and didn't pump at all. He snacked this morning but didn't do much for emptying my breasts. So I was on overproduction overload. I was checking a favorite site I follow (The Leaky Boob) while I was pumping at work and woe and behold I looked down and I had pumped nearly twice as much as I usually do. Oh great.... now I'll never get all this milk everywhere under control again. (I say all of that with a light grateful heart that my supply is so abundant!!)

Ben, you're all wet...

Since I didn't pump at work today I was a bit overfull when I got home from work. Ben was asleep and I considered pumping before he woke up. I didn't though. When he did wake up I fed him and then we played for a little while. I looked down and saw that Ben's clean shirt was all wet. I was frustrated that he had wet through his diaper. And apparently he had wet all over my shirt too. Then I realized I had it wrong. I had leaked all over his shirt!!

Hanging out at the playground

I took the kids to the playground yesterday. I am not overly modest and I don't mind nursing in public. We were at the playground for over an hour. Ben got hungry so he got fed. Plain and simple.

Baby Ben came to work today!

I have been wanting to show Ben off at work lately. I finally got the chance. I brought him in and let him visit with everyone. When he got hungry he got a little snack before I took him off to meet Dad at Grandma's house. Since I fed him once at work and again at Grandma's house

I didn't pump at work at all. I don't think I will stay and work late today. I am a little overful.

The two year old said what?

This morning before I left for work I nursed Ben one last time. I was already dressed so I had to take my nursing pad out of my bra. I sat it next to me on the bed. Eliot, my two year old, came up to me and picked it up. She said "Mama, your boobie hat" as she tried to hand it back to me. She knew what it was for (sort of). I laughed pretty hard!!

Picture of the day (Ok, it was actually taken yesterday)

We made it to 3 months!

I can hardly believe that Ben and I have made it to 3 months. I know I already celebrated the 12 week mark but the actual 3 month mark means so much to me. Ben has not needed a bottle at all this weekend. He is doing great. I do get some pain when he latches on if he isn't positioned correctly but other than that we aren't having any problems. I still have a lot of milk in the freezer. I have let go of my anxiety over thinking I don't have enough milk saved up. That is no longer a problem. Ben will need some thawed milk tomorrow because I haven't pumped any this weekend. When I do pump at work I have been pumping about 2 to 4 ounces more than what Ben needs for the next day. That extra milk is still going into the freezer.

I haven't had to pump at all today. Ben has gotten all he has needed nursing. I haven't had to offer any expressed breastmilk either. I am comfortable too. I haven't been engorged or anything. It has been so nice! We should be able to keep it up. I am trying to come to terms with my weight though. I want to aggressively diet but I know it will effect my supply. (It's happened before.) I just need to accept my weight and increase my activity level. Hopefully I will be able to loose weight slow and steady. I have 10 pounds to loose to be where I was before Ben. 16 pounds to loose to be where I was before Eliot. And, 27 pounds to be at my ideal weight. (What I weighed before I had Connor.)

Pumping once a day

I am now only pumping once a day. It seems like everything is going well. Ben nurses before and after work and during the night and takes two bottles in the middle of the day for Dad. I am pumping the exact amount he needs at noon for his next day's feedings. It was a hard first 12 weeks but it was worth it. I almost gave up there for a minute. I am not going to rush to food with Ben. With Eliot, my 2 year old, I waited till she was pulling food off my plate to start her on food. I stopped nursing her around 4 months old. There were a lot of reasons for that. She wanted table food around 6 months old and was eating most soft table food by 8 months old. She did that without any coaxing. She rarely had baby food. Unless Ben starts to pull it off my plate I am not going to offer him any food until he is 6 months old. Even then I am not going to push it. We will see how he does. I just hope I can keep him supplied with plenty of breastmilk when he gets bigger and needs more. I would like to try to cut out my midday pumping session one day. Maybe he will be like his big sister Annika. I didn't have to pump when she was over 6 months old. She just adjusted her schedule to nurse when I was at home and ate some food when we were separated while I was at work. My supply was fine.

A good night

It was a good night last night.I almost couldn't sleep because I wanted Ben to wake up and need to nurse. Dad asked me how many times did he wake up. I said none really because he would just nurse and go back to sleep. He nursed about four times last night. It was great. I think we may be on the road to getting to a normal nursing relationship. What I was doing before was normal too but I just don't want to have to wash breastpump parts all day long anymore. I am pumping right now for the first time today. My goal was to have a midday session and nurse Ben as soon as I get home. I nursed him before I left for work. I soaked through I mean all the way through my cotton nursing pad. My shirt was even wet. All of this nursing has increased my supply again. It will probably take me a good week to get everything under control. I just hope I don't get too sore. Ben likes to bite.

Way to go Ben!

Ben has only had about 2 ounces of milk today in a bottle. All of the rest of his feeds have totally come from the source. We will see how tomorrow goes when I go back to work. I'll try to nurse him before I leave and as soon as I get home. Maybe I can get away with only a mid day pumping session at work. Hopefully we can get on a normal schedule.

Nursing like a pro

Ben nursed last night a few times. I was comfortable and he knew just what to do. Today I ended up nursing nearly all day. I had to work a little in the morning. Dad gave a bottle of expressed breastmilk before I got home. It is 7:15pm right now and I haven't pumped today at all. I'll probably pump tonight in a little bit and freeze it. I have three bottles of breastmilk in the fridge that need to be used. Because they have some thawed milk in them I can't refreeze them. I hate for them to go to waste. We will see how tomorrow goes. I won't be separated from Ben at all. I always tell moms to be that the first three months are the hardest. If you can make it till then things get better. I would love to stop pumping three times a day. I have plenty of milk in the freezer for when I am at work. I'll just have to take it one day at a time.

Sweet baby in the middle of the night...

Ben latched on fine last night. I had to lighten this picture a little just so you could see him. Such a sweet boy.

Breastmilk makes my tummy yummy

This book always causes a stir when friends of mine who have never breastfed see it. I like it!!

Milk, Money, and Madness

This book helped steer me on the path that I am on. I came across it randomly at the library when I lived in Charleston, South Carolina. It is not a how to breastfeed book but rather a WHY to breastfeed book. It helps detail the ins and outs of the World Health Organization's (WHO's) policies on breastfeeding. I reread it every few years. I have reviewed it on amazon.com. You can go to amazon and read my review if you like. I need to buy the updated version and see if I am missing out on any new information. Anyone who is considering breastfeeding and wants all of the information should definitely read this book.          

Keeping up with Annika

Annika, my fourth child, was born at 28 weeks. I breastfed her three older siblings and was familiar with using a breastpump. I never thought I would be using it exclusively for nearly three months as I waited for her to come home. I was lucky enough to qualify for a free rental hospital grade breastpump while she was in the hospital. I had complications from the emergency c-section I had to welcome Annika into this world. I spent a few weeks in the hospital and missed a lot of time from work after the delivery. It seemed like the only constant for me sometimes was my pumping schedule. I always pumped at 2am. Annika was always weighed at 2am. When I was finished I would call the NICU to see how much she weighed. Since we lived nearly 30 miles from the hospital and I had other children to care for I didn't get to visit Annika as often as I wanted to. This 2am check-in meant a lot to me. The house was quiet and the nurses had the time to talk to me. To help bulk her up they requested that I bring in some bottles of hindmilk. I was producing so much milk that my freezer was packed and the nurses asked me not to bring anymore in because their freezer was full and they needed room for the other babies' milk. Annika came home 2 weeks shy of her due date. She started nursing just fine when she came home. She nursed till she was about 14 months old. She is a happy 7 year old who has a seizure disorder but other than that healthy and not worse for wear from being born early.

Latching on today

After a busy day at the park Ben latched on great for an afternoon nursing session. He did fine on the right side. Last night he was able to latch onto the right side without any problems. Instead of taking away milk from my pumping sessions theses nursing moments only seem to be increasing my milk supply. As I type this post I am pumping and cuddling with my 2 year old as Ben is asleep in Dad's arms. Life is not too bad at times.

Danny's first Thanksgiving Day

I was working full time at a gambling game room Thanksgiving Day 1996. My husband at the time brought my oldest and at the time only child to have "dinner" with me. As part of my job I was not allowed to leave the room that I hosted. (It was South Carolina law that stated every 5 video poker games had to be supervised by one employee. ) It did not matter that there were no people playing the games at that time. My husband left Danny with me and went to go fix us a plate of food. My supervisors had set up a buffet style Thanksgiving dinner. I sat on the floor and started to nurse Danny. He was about 7 months old at the time. My boss came around and saw us. He didn't say anything derogatory but he just looked at Danny and me and then said "Oh, I thought he was a hand baby." When I started work there I informed them that I needed to pump on my lunch break. The only place I had to pump in private was the bathroom. I had to use a battery powered inferior pump to pump in there because there wasn't an outlet. Because I was still breastfeeding in my boss's mind I must have a newborn baby at home. That is where the "hand baby" comment came from. It may just be a southern saying but it means you have a baby that you would hold in a cradle position in your arms. If it is an older infant that is looking around and awake they don't qualify as "hand babies". Wow, I didn't think a 7 month old was considered too old to be nursing till he made me think about it. This event pops in my head all the time when I am reminded of where we all feed our babies and how old they are at that time. Danny will be 14 years old this month. I have grown so much as a woman and a mother but he will always be dear to me as my first nursing baby.

Down to two pumpings a day...yeah right

I have skipped my 2pm pumping session for two days in a row. I was able to pump more milk at my 8pm session for those two days to more than make up the difference. Today may be a different story. This morning I only pumped about 9 ounces where I had been getting close to or more than 12 ounces. I am afraid if I wait till 8pm to pump again I'll continue to go down. Yeah, I know a few posts back I was complaining about milk everywhere!! Maybe I am just paranoid. My main goal is to be able to pump enough for Ben to have the next day when I am at work. My secondary goal is to have extra milk to freeze for the future. I am off to pump right now. We will see what happens!

Stop looking at the numbers on the side...

Ben gets the majority of his breast milk from a bottle. Lately I have been paying way too much attention to how much he drinks. Some times he will only take 6 ounces in a 10 hour period when I am work. I forget that the nutritional value of breastmilk is higher than formula. To get what his body needs he does not need a lot. A child on total formula would actually need more formula to make up for the inferior nutrition it contains. And there is the whole topic of poopie. Look how much literal crap is produced by a formula fed baby. It comes from somewhere. Ben poops every 2 to 3 days sometimes. It is never very much unless he goes for longer than that. I need to just stop thinking about the numbers. He eats when he is hungry whether it is from a bottle of from me. Even though my expressed breastmilk is very valuable to me I need to stop trying to get him to finish that last half of an ounce. Even when he takes his milk from a bottle he can demand feed and be held to a schedule or to my agenda.