My breastfeeding journey...

And it begins again....

2012-01-20T10:22:00.000-08:00

I am pregnant. Yes I have 7 children and yes I am pregnant again. Since Ben weaned in November this is the first pregnancy I have had while I was still nursing for part of it. I fully support moms who nurse throughout their pregnancies but I can see how it can be daunting too. Usually the first sign of pregnancy I have is breast tenderness and some breast changes. Since Ben was nursing strong when I got pregnant I did not have all of my regular changes. Now I am beginning to have a few. I am 23 weeks pregnant give or take. I argue with the medical professionals. I was there they were not..... They say I am only 20 weeks. We will let little girl decide when to be born. Yes, we are having a girl. Statistically that is what I should be having. All my kids alternate boy, girl, boy, girl.... We have a name left over from Ben's pregnancy and I think Dad is 70% on board with it. This is the first time I will be working part time instead of full time when I give birth. We will see how the new breastfeeding relationship starts out form the beginning. I can't wait.

Almost 23 months old....

2011-12-07T10:41:00.000-08:00

Ben is almost 23 months old. He has not nursed for about 2 weeks now. My big boy is weaned. the first 4 days or so were the hardest. I just could not cut back on sessions. We had to go cold turkey. I thought that would be too hard on him but it worked better. The surprise thing is that since he has stopped breastfeeding he is so much more of a hugger and snuggler with everyone including me. He will just climb in bed and lay on me and love on me. He is such a sweet boy!!!

Two days!!!

2011-11-27T16:25:00.000-08:00

Ben has not nursed for two days. I am so proud of my big boy. He has whined some and asked to nurse but he is making the adjustment OK. I wanted to let him lead his own weaning experience but this mom is tired!!! I was willing to let him wait till he was 2 years old but here we go with weaning......

Weaning Ben

2011-11-26T05:36:00.001-08:00

I am ready. Ben would argue the case. He is 22 months old. He nurses just about anytime I sit down and all night long. I am exhausted. To top it off my health has not been 100% lately. I love my little boy but I am ready to end our nursing relationship. I have nursed him almost twice as long as I have nursed my other kids. He has thrived. I felt a bit guilty when I wanted to wean when he was younger. But now he seems to understand when I say no, he just doesn't like it. We will see how it goes. I start a new job next week so we will be seperated more so that will help except he is used to attacking me when I get home.

2011-09-30T19:25:00.001-07:00

Up since 2:30am.....

2011-09-28T03:32:00.000-07:00

OK Ben, we have to talk. I know I was working all day yesterday and the first mama milk you got was around 5:30pm but man mama has to sleep.

I fed Ben and then turned him over to Daddy. Well that lasted an hour. Dad brought him to me and I offered the breast again but I was just done. I got up with Ben (again). I turned the TV on. Ben likes Blue's Clues. He kept trying to nurse so I got him some yogurt. He ate one and a half containers. I offered him some juice but that bay will hardly take liquids out of a bottle. He will drink out of an open cup when he wants. Usually he just pours it out because it is fun but he CAN do it. Well, we were up... I did a load of dishes and played with Ben. These early morning sessions are when I hear him talk the most. It amazes me. I even think he is talking more than Lyn and Eliot did and they were my early talkers. He is talking so loudly right now that I am not sure why everyone is not awake. At least I do not have to work till later today. With some luck I can get a nap.....

20 months old!

2011-09-24T14:16:00.000-07:00

Yes I am late in posting. I cannot believe with all that Ben and I have been through as a nursing pair we made it this far. I am enjoying nursing a toddler this go around. With all of the others I never made it this far. My only concern is that my fertility seems to be hiding still due to breastfeeding. I would be OK for Ben to be my last little one but I would be even more OK to have at least one more. I know all the arguments but that is what I want. I don't understand those who don't want any children or just one child. I don't expect them to understand me!!!!

Playing peek-a-boo

2011-07-17T18:34:00.000-07:00

Such a big boy.... Ben is a pro at breastfeeding. He can mulit-task. He has learned to play peek-a-boo and what better place to practice then when you are getting some mama milk.

It is official!

2011-05-31T17:31:00.000-07:00

My certification came in the mail today. Of course Ben joined in on the celebration by nursing.

16 months old today

2011-05-18T16:44:00.001-07:00

We are still nursing and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight.

15 months old today!

2011-04-18T09:14:00.001-07:00

Ben is now officially my oldest nurser. He is so smart... He is now ducking under my arm as I am reading. eating, working on the computer, or whatever to help himself to a snack. He is pulling my shirt up and gets really upset when I have a bra on.....

Hubby fixed it!

2011-04-18T09:10:00.001-07:00

I was so sad when my breastfeeding necklace broke. Super glue is a wonderful thing. My husband fixed it and it is back around my neck...... (That is actually Lyn the 12 year old holding it in the picture)

I am such a professional now...

2011-04-07T17:28:00.001-07:00

This whole week I completed the training to become a Certified Lactation Counselor. It was so much fun. I had the company of a good friend, my oldest daughter, and my friend's nursling....

Super mom!!!

2011-04-06T09:32:00.001-07:00

It's just normal to multi task. Feed a baby, feed yourself, laugh because someone is taking your picture as you do it.. Motherhood is great! By the way, the models in this picture are real. Feel free to pop over to Kate's page to help her on her journey to add to her family by way of adoption...

14 months old

2011-03-18T12:42:00.000-07:00

My baby boy is 14 months old today. He is still nursing and doing great!

Oh my, I am so full......

2011-03-07T12:06:00.001-08:00

Ben has cut back on some of his night feedings. Today is Monday and I am feeling it! It has been quite a while since I have been this full and sore. I am not quite engorged but I am getting there. I don't want to pump during teh day but I wish I could go home early to feed him.

13 and a half months and still going strong....

2011-02-27T14:54:00.000-08:00

Ben is so grown

2011-02-15T08:37:00.000-08:00

Ben is so funny sometimes when he is nursing. He will get distracted and sit up and want to play and when he does I put everything away. He then turns around and looks at me like I am crazy as if to say "where did the milk go?" I then lift my shirt up and offer both breasts and he dives for which ever one is closest!!! It is so funny!

Can you believe it?

2011-02-01T06:42:00.000-08:00

Ben is a year old. (His birthday was last month on the 18th.) He is still nursing strong. I have stopped pumping at work. He will drink a little cow milk or juice or water during the day. Never a lot though. He seems to like to wait for me to get home. He is always ready to nurse both sides when I get home. He is eating table food fine but he is starting to show some preferences. He used to eat whatever I handed him. Now he will spit out what he doesn't like. He nurses at night but around midnight he just wants to sleep and even if he is fussy I can't get him to nurse anymore most nights. He is getting so big. He weighs 20 pounds now and his 5th and 6th tooth are cutting through. My baby is not such a little baby anymore.....

Almost a year

2011-01-15T11:35:00.000-08:00

My baby will be one year old in a few days. Ben is such a positive baby. He is an absolute joy to mother. He is still nursing but becoming a big boy fast. I have stopped pumping at work. He takes a bottle of cow's milk during the day from Dad while I work. He seems to doing fine with it. He still nurses during the night and in the morning. I will just let him be the guide as to when he wants to wean.

Check out the necklace

2010-12-29T07:39:00.001-08:00

I know you can't really see it but the necklace I have on is a great breastfeeding necklace. I love wearing it especially when I go to work with families as a breastfeeding counselor.

Here it is again

2010-12-12T15:06:00.000-08:00

Well, my period has shown up again. I was hoping that with continued night feedings Ben would stave off my periods. Oh well....

Webinar

2010-12-10T08:30:00.001-08:00

I was able to participate in a webinar focusing on nutrition associated with breastfeeding. It wasn't exactly what I expected but it was interesting.....

10 months yesterday

2010-11-19T07:51:00.000-08:00

Ben is getting so big. He was 10 months old yesterday. He is still nursing strong. I am pumping once a day at work still and I am keeping up with his needs. He loves to eat off of my plate. He wants nothing to do with baby food at all. He really doesn't like spoons or forks near his mouth. He will take food off of my fingers just fine. I weighed him the other day and he weighs a little over 19 pounds. He feels like he weighs more. He has four teeth in now. Well the two top have broken through but they haven't come in all the way. Ben is such a good baby. I hate to label a child like that but it is true. He must know he is number 7 and his mom is 36 years old!!

Pumping at the board

2010-11-03T10:52:00.001-07:00

I am so glad my boss made me take my pump with me today. I am at a local board of education at a meeting as part of my job. Mainly I am just waiting around waiting my turn to day a simple "yes" or "no". It seems like I will be here for hours. Well, the powers that be broke for lunch so I broke to pump. The picture shown is where I was offered to pump. At least the woman who showed me to the room was a bit uncomfortable with the fact that was the only space with a lock. She did find me a chair though. A mom has to do what she has to do.

Now all he wants is Mama

2010-11-01T13:39:00.000-07:00

For a while there it seemed like Ben didn't care too much for nursing. Now he barely takes his bottle during the day full of breastmilk form Dad or big sister. He just waits for me to come home. Some days it is almost 10 hours. He still isn't eating much food except for exploration so I imagine he is starving when I get home. If Dad is lucky he may take 4 ounces total during the day. I guess just like us adults each baby is different too. He has his likes and dislikes and they are apt to change at a moment's notice.

It was bound to happen sooner or later

2010-10-27T15:21:00.000-07:00

Well, it is official. My period has arrived. I have never had it return while I am still nursing. Ben isn't eating much food. He hasn't really changed his nursing amount. He may be nursing a little bit less frequently but he still nurses multiple times a night. I was really looking forward to not having a period for a while since I don't plan on weaning any time soon. I guess a girl can't have it all.

9 months old

2010-10-18T06:50:00.000-07:00

Ben is getting so big. He is still nursing strong. He eats some table food but most of his nutrition comes for "mama milk".

Mama milk

2010-10-03T13:41:00.000-07:00

On the way to church this morning Evan saw baby cows in a pasture. He said, "Look, they drink their mama's milk like Baby Ben".

NIP

2010-09-30T16:39:00.001-07:00

In the midst of the chaos after Lyn's volleyball game I saw a mom walking around nursing her little one. Way to go mom!

Tator tots!?!

2010-09-21T14:27:00.000-07:00

Ben doesn't want anything to do with baby food but that boy likes potatoes in any form. Well, who doesn't? Mashed potatoes, fries, tator tots, and baked potatoes all have made it into his tummy. He definitely prefers table food over baby food. I still want breast milk to be his main source of nutrition (and it is) but a little variety doesn't hurt. He doesn't seem hungry or anything but I offer food when I am eating dinner. He is no where near to wanting to eat an actual "meal". We'll get there.

Oh the tears...

2010-09-08T10:02:00.000-07:00

I cried on Monday. Ben is hurting my feelings but I know it is not his fault. I went to the store and bought one can of formula. I know I can pump and get a back up supply again. I know all the arguments about using formula. I preach them all the time myself. But today I gave Ben a little formula. Or rather i made a bottle handed it to Dad, ran a bath, and cried alone in the bathtub till the 4 and almost 3 year old came and got in with me. Ben seems so hungry and I really think he wants some food. But then he won't eat off of a spoon. So I gave him some food but it was yucky formula. He seems so satisfied after he takes a bottle even when it is just breastmilk in the bottle. He doesn't seem to like nursing. I did get him to sleep with me a little last night. It was so sweet. He just likes his space. Normally I have to put him right back in his bed at night after I feed him.

No baby food for Ben

2010-09-06T14:12:00.000-07:00

Ben just does not like baby food. I keep trying to offer him food on a spoon and he humors me but he won't really get into it. He will eat some soft table food though. What really hurts my heart though is that he doesn't seem to enjoy nursing. He does it to get fed and then he pushes me away. He never comfort nurses. Sometimes it is like he doesn't want to nurse but is so hungry he tolerates it. What to do what to do???

Eat Ben eat!!

2010-08-26T10:31:00.000-07:00

Come on now! guess Ben just does not have a huge appetite. For a few weeks now he just doesn't want to nurse very much at all. I would not be concerned except that he is not really eating much. he has tried some foods but he doesn't actually "eat" food everyday. He takes his bottles of expressed breastmilk during the day from Dad just fine. But a lot of times before and after work and in the middle of the night he refuses the breast. I really think he would only nurse twice a day if I left it up to him. I actually try to coax him to eat a lot of times throughout the evenings and at night without much luck. Dad thinks he prefers bottles and that he isn't getting much from me. I just don't think that is the case. He is biting me a lot with his gums. I sort of am ready to stop pumping at work but since we are almost out of frozen milk that would mean adding formula during my work day. That I am not ready to do. Maybe I should start pumping more and let Dad give a bottle at night. I just don't know. Out of all 7 children I have nursed I have never really had one that was "in love" with the process. I was hoping Ben would be the exception. They all seem like they could take or leave it. Oh well. I'll just keep things going they way they are and see what happens.

Trying food again

2010-08-12T15:45:00.000-07:00

I offered Ben some jar baby food (bananas) yesterday. He didn't seem to know what to do with it. I guess he just isn't ready for it. He doesn't seem to be nursing very often. I offer him the breast all the time. Sometimes he just would rather suck his thumb. He is still gaining weight OK so I am not really worried. Oh well.

At the beach

2010-08-10T18:06:00.000-07:00

Packing for the beach for Ben was easy. No bottles or formula to worry about. He did great. He pretty much stayed on his regular nursing routine. My favorite time was when we were up before everyone else and nursed on the balcony as the sun came up. We didn't slow down and nursed at the pool side. We got a strange look from an employee but that was the most negativity we came across. When we went to dinner i went to teh van to feed Ben not because I did not want to nurse in public but because he is so distractable lately. I knew the busy restaurant would be too much for him. On our way home we stopped a graet McDonald's with a really nice indoor play place. I watched Eliot play and fed Ben. No one gave me a second look. Another mother with an itty bitty baby sat near us. The baby started to fuss. She started to give her a bottle but she was still fussing. The mom moved to another table and when we walked past on ourway out she was breastfeeding her little one. That warmed my heart.

One a second note, I gave Ben a taste of plain baked potatoes and plain sweet potatoes during the past few days. He seems more interested in what we are eating. We'll see what happens next.

Breastfeeding and Early Intervention

2010-08-03T10:09:00.000-07:00

Please enjoy this post via The Leaky B@@b. Thank you so much for letting me be part of the blog carnival during World Breastfeeding Week!

"My child has Autism. How do I continue to breastfeed him?"

"My baby was born at 28 weeks. How do I even start a breastfeeding relationship?"

"My baby just won't latch how can I breastfeed?"

"I have stopped breastfeeding. Now I want to start again. Isn't my milk all gone?"

These are all questions that I have heard as I work with families with special needs children under three years old. They are also questions I have asked myself. I am a developmental specialist, service coordinator, and special instructor with my state's early intervention program. I am also a mother of seven children. My oldest child has Autism. My fourth child was born at 28 weeks and it was months before she was able to latch on. She also has a seizure disorder. My seventh and youngest child just could not get the hang of nursing and I pumped for three months before I could teach him how to latch and be a pro at breastfeeding now at six months old. My other children breastfeed with all different degrees of "success". All of my experiences with my children bring a depth to the work I do everyday. When parents find out I can share some of the emotions they feel I gain some of their trust. This allows me to provide the best care and services to their children.

Unfortunately, most of the families I work with never even try to breastfeed their special needs babies. A lot of these children have compromised immune systems or suboptimal brain development. Some even have metabolic disorders and nutrient absorption problems. Yet still they never even consider breast milk as the best food for their child.

Other times mothers just choose not to breastfeed or even hold their child to bottle feed. They may have developmental delays without a diagnosois. I am challenged when a child has a goal to hold their own bottle at 6 months. Their family wants them to sit supported in a seat and hold a bottle without any emotional or physical help. In my job I have to respect the family culture of those I am there to help. But I also don't want to support them in causing more hurtles for their child to surmount. I try to gently remind them that feeding time is meant to be a nurturing learning time for their child. I remind them how human babies have been fed in ages past and in other countries. Sometimes this prompts them to consider holding their babies to bottle feed them. Rarely I work with with a family that wants to breastfeed and just needs help to increase their supply. Or sometimes they just need someone to tell them it is OK to nurse their special needs child. I remind them that it is BETTER to breastfeed their special needs child. Nursing at the breast is a great oral motor workout. Children with Down syndrome benefit from this method of feeding way above and beyond just getting fed. This helps with their speech development and oral motor control on a lot of levels. Typical children benefit from breastfeeding but it can be dramatically evident how much it helps children with low muscle tone. I have even seen a dramatic difference in children with Autism that are or have been breastfed. I have more luck in introducing new foods to children that have breastfed. They seem to be more used to changes in taste than children who have only had formula. I attribute that to the varying differences in breastmilk from feeding to feeding and day to day. They did not get the same old taste every feeding so they expect a bit more variety. And as always with a job where one works with children under three years old poopy comes into the conversation. A lot of families I meet notice that their children have a lot of problems with constipation because of low tone, nerve damage, or drug interactions. But, the few that receive some breastmilk have little or no problems with constipation. I have even recommended that families find a source of breastmilk for their child. I refer them to friends and or family members they trust or to milk banks in their area. I get really strange looks when I make that recommendation. It is just not in their mindset to think that way.

I hope that from the dozens of families that I come in contact with throughout the year I am able to help some children achieve access to breastmilk in any way that they can. Even children that can not suckle or even swallow need braestmilk to help reach their full potential. Well, I've got to go. I am off to work with a child learning how to communicate. And you know what? Mom is pregnant. Let's see if I can plant a seed of change!

World Breastfeeding Week

2010-08-01T07:39:00.000-07:00

In celebration of World Breastfeeding Week I am working on a submission to a blog carnival. The big girls are working on essay and artwork submissions too.

In the grocery line

2010-07-31T15:31:00.000-07:00

For once I was in the grocery line by myself today. I was getting WIC for myself and Evan. I didn't need all of the milk on my voucher. I was making small talk and told the cashier that I didn't need all of the milk that they give me for being a breastfeeding mom. The cashier said, "You must have a newborn". I looked at her for a split second and said with a smile that my baby turned 6 months old this month. She looked a little confused. I guess she didn't ever consider that moms nurse after a few weeks.

Nursing at the pool

2010-07-27T09:53:00.000-07:00

I wore a suit that was easy to pull down at the pool last Sunday. I was all prepared to nurse Ben at the poolside if need be. He didn't act hungry at all till it was time to leave and we were all in the family change room. He ate away privately there and slept all the way home.

Baby food....

2010-07-27T09:51:00.001-07:00

I did end up getting the jars of baby food on WIC. The other kids got into them. Evan and Eliot wanted banana applesauce. The older girls even wanted to try it. They all liked the fruit but the meat and veggies did not really find any fans. I will try Ben on some organic baby food a little at first. WIC doesn't let you get organic food except for the fresh fruit and vegetables. We'll see how all of that goes.

Food time?

2010-07-27T09:48:00.000-07:00

Ben was 6 months old on the 18th of this month. He is starting to show some interest in food. He watches my spoon or fork as it goes from my mouth to my plate. He has reached for my food several times. And everything is going in the mouth. He is gnawing on everything. Dad informed me yesterday that my freezer stash is running out. I probably only have enough milk to last out the week. I pump everyday but Ben is drinking and sometimes wasting about 4 ounces more than I pump. I either need to add more pumping sessions to my routine or come up with some other solution. I do not want to add formula into the mix. I have my bananas, rice, and avocados ready to offer him. I think we will start with the bananas tonight. I want to see him in action trying to eat before I turn that job over to Dad during the day. I don't want to use a lot or any processed foods. I think I will stay away from the baby cereals right now. All of their "fortified" nutrients can be found in real food if you pick the right foods. Besides, breastmilk is and still will be his main nutrition. Food right now is just extra for practice. I do hope to use food as a bit of a staller for Dad till I get home. I want Ben to nurse more at night but he is all about sleeping instead of eating at night right now. I usually feed him around 4;30 am or 5:00am. He just doesn't want to eat right before I go to work anymore. If I could only reason with the little man. I'll let you know how eating food goes tonight!

To nurse in public today or not...

2010-06-27T12:55:00.000-07:00

All of the big kids are with someone else today. Dad wanted to go out for breakfast for pancakes so that is what we did. If you knew him you would know it is rare that he requests outings. Evan, Eliot, Ben, dad and I headed for IHOP. I was prepared to feed Ben if needed during breakfast. Ben got a lot of attention form the waitresses. He is pretty cute if I say so myself. He started to get fussy and everyone was about done at that time. I was about to feed him there in the restaurant but I decided to wait. I felt like I should make a stand and nurse in public to support the 'cause" but I did not feel totally comfortable in that setting. I left Dad with the other kids and paid the check on my way out to feed Ben in the car. All of the waitresses came running to say bye to the cutest baby in the room. I had mentioned to the hostess that took my money that I was going out to feed the baby she spoke up to the other staff and said good naturedly, "let her go, she is going to feed the baby." In the end I did not feed Ben in public but I didn't hide the fact that I was a nursing mom. In the end everyone was happy. I got to eat, Ben got to eat and all the ladies that work at IHOP got to fawn all over Ben!

Got milk?

2010-06-24T07:39:00.001-07:00

I actually had to stop pumping because one of my bottles was overflowing. I knew I should have packed the big bottles today! Ben has been snacking off and on all the time. My supply is showing that! I had to pump 3 hours early today just to keep from spilling out of my shirt.

What are you feeding him?

2010-06-23T09:59:00.000-07:00

Ben visited today at work. I love these opportunities to be able to nurse him in the middle of the day during the week. It is not throwing my supply all out of whack as it used to do. My supply doesn't seem to be going anywhere so I don't stress over having to take a day or two to readjust the supply and demand mechanism. As I was showing him off a little bit I was asked, "What are you feeding him?" I answered with a smile, "Just mama milk". The response I got in return was, "Well, I guess that is enough.". This was said as Ben was having his chunky thighs squeezed by a well meaning "grandmother". He is a prime example that most babies do just fine on breastmilk alone.

Ben's WIC appointment

2010-06-18T11:08:00.000-07:00

Well, Ben had his WIC appointment today. He weighs 16 pounds and 5 ounces. Milk does a body good! There were a lot of new moms there with little babies. All of them were bottle feeding what i presumed was formula to their babies. One of the moms even got up to smoke twice while she was waiting. When I got to see the nutritionist she asked me if Ben was eating food yet. I said no he doesn't seem ready yet. She gave me the new vouchers for 6 month old infants to start next month. For Ben he is allowed to get 64 jars of vegetables or fruit, 31 jars of meat (yuck), and 3 boxes of infant cereal. I may offer him some of the fruit later when he is ready but the rest can wait or never be bought. I am sure when he is ready to eat food he will pull it off of my plate. On another note the nutritionist wanted me to start him on a sippy cup so that he would be off of the bottle by a year old. I told her that I was hoping that he would nurse till he was done and then just transition to an open cup. She looked at me like I was crazy. To me a sippy cup with a valve and a soft spout is still just a bottle. Most children are older than one when they no longer need to satisfy a sucking need and can turn up a cup to drink. If we all were meant to drink without sucking there would not be any sports bottles or straws!!

La Leche League meeting

2010-06-10T13:05:00.000-07:00

Today's meeting went great! There were two leaders there, me, and a new mom with a 3 week old baby boy. One of the leaders had to leave early so the other leader and I talked with the new mom. I really think I will like being a leader of a group one day. I am going to try better to get all my ducks in a row so I can get going with all the requirements needed to be a leader. Now I need to see about which area I want to lead in.

Good to see

2010-06-08T14:03:00.000-07:00

I attended a Birmingham Birth Stories meeting today. It was great to see so many mothers nursing their babies. I need to put myself in more settings where it is acceptable to nurse in public even though a mothering group of like minded people is scarcely the typical "public" arena in Alabama. Still, I had fun. I met a lot of moms who feel the same way I do on a lot of issues. I am sure I will go back. Since the meeting took place at my regular pumping time I had to pump a little early so I would not get too uncomfortable during the meeting.

Another day..

2010-06-07T10:15:00.000-07:00

I have no concerns with my nursing adventure right now. I really couldn't ask for anything better. Ben nurses well. He is growing well. I still haven't gotten a period yet. All is good! I do have a WIC appointment coming up soon for Ben this month. I know they will try to get me to add solid foods to his diet but I plan on waiting a while longer. He is almost 5 months old. He is not showing any signs on needing more than "mama's milk" so we are just going to keep it that way for a while longer. I am going to wait at least 6 months till I even try to introduce some fruits.

Ben's first cold

2010-06-02T13:09:00.000-07:00

Ben is not nursing as much as usual. He won't hardly take a bottle of "mama milk" for Dad during the day. I was afraid he may have croup. Eliot had RSV when she was about his age so I was afraid of that too. It was neither. We went to the doctor today and it was just a cold. His appetite should perk up in a few days. He is still nursing it just isn't very much. He does weigh 15.2 pounds as of today.

Talk about the good

2010-05-26T06:42:00.000-07:00

I need to celebrate the good as well as lament the bad. Ben and I are a great nursing pair these days. It is like they rough beginning was just a dream or a nightmare at times. This morning before I left for work I tried to get Ben to nurse and he just flat out laughed at me. He is always in such a good mood in the mornings. Hopefully our nursing relationship will be a long one.

Oh my goodness!!

2010-05-25T09:49:00.000-07:00

I forgot all of my breast pump parts at home. I washed them and set them to dry this morning and grabbed my bag. I left all the parts sitting by the sink. I got set up at work to pump and opened my bag and ahhhh!! I forgot everything at home. I was supposed to work late today because I went in late because of Evan's doctor's appointment. Now I am all out of whack. I can't stay late if I can't pump!! I'll have to head home by 2pm. I feel like such a blond. (I did highlight my roots last night :) .)

Come on Ben...

2010-05-20T08:28:00.000-07:00

Ben is just not wanting to nurse very much right now. Maybe I am just paying too much attention to all of this. His weight is good. (He doesn't quite have enough room for another chin!) He is happy. I just have so much milk I don't know what to do. It is like when my milk came in. I don't want to pump more because then I will just make more. Yesterday i met Dad with Ben for lunch. Ben ate pretty good but he only emptied one and half breasts. That is half more than he usually does. I guess I sort of force fed him hopping he would give me some relief. No such luck. I refused to pump when I got back to work because I didn't want to keep this over abundance cycle up. Since my pump was clean I left it at work. When I got home Ben was asleep. This is too much. He nursed some before bed and a little at night. I am going to pump today a little early just to get some relief. I guess this is all better than not having enough milk. Now, in two months when he has another growth spurt I will be singing a different tune!

What, again?

2010-05-18T09:41:00.000-07:00

Ben didn't really nurse much last night again. I am a little worried about him. If I were with him during the day I wouldn't mind as much because I could catch him up on his feeds. But because I am at work I am worried. Dad has plenty of milk to feed him from a bottle but it is just not the same. I want to be in control. (It's strange, most bottle moms think they are in control with the bottle.) I guess he is just not needing as much milk. He is not acting fussy so I don't think his ears are hurting him when he sucks. I don't think he is teething and not wanting to suck. He is happy. I think he is just not hungry. I miss our night time feeds though. That was our total mama and baby time with everyone else asleep.

Sleeping through the night?

2010-05-17T12:56:00.000-07:00

Ben started off the night in the boys' room. Usually when I go to bed he needs to nurse and then he just stays with me. Well, last night Dad slept with him in the boy's room and he was never brought to me. I finally couldn't sleep without him in my arms so I went to check on him. I was actually anxious that something was wrong and that he wasn't breathing. I rubbed his back firmly and he wiggled. I scooped him up and told Dad I was going to feed him. I snuggled down with him and fed him. He nursed pretty well and then went right back asleep. But it was 4:30am and almost time to get up. I can't believe he slept so long. I was so worried about him. I guess I will see how he does tonight.

Everything is going fine

2010-05-15T16:17:00.000-07:00

Ben was weighed at Granny's house today. Unofficially he weighs 15 pounds. He is doing great. Nursing has been going along like clockwork. We haven't had any problems for quite a while now. Looking back it was really hard but it was definitely worth it. I am so glad I did not give up!

Breastfeeding vs. Play

2010-05-11T06:57:00.000-07:00

OK, this post is a little different. It is not so much a bit of my own story as it is about my ideals on nurturing children and helping them become the best they can be. As a part of my job I evaluate children under three years old for developmental delays. And if they show delays I provide services for them to help their development. Breastfeeding comes up fairly often. Some moms have special needs children that are born with a diagnosis and they need assistance in establishing or supporting a breastfeeding relationship. Others have a toddler that they want to wean and because that child has a delay they do not know how to go about the process, child led or not. (How do you let a child lead his own weaning process when he is incapable of communicating needs beyond a 6 month old developmental level?) All in a day's work.

But where did the title of this post come from? Because I come in contact with so many families with infants and toddlers I do see a lot of breastfeeding moms (not near the amount I want to see!). Well, occasionally I see a child that nurses ALOT and I evaluate their needs. They sometimes end up showing a measurable delay in their social, communication, and cognitive skills. This happened with one family I met. After I get a family history and observe the family for a while and ask what they feel their most frustrating moments are they share a surprising thing. The mom is tired of nursing. My gut response is to remind her that her child is only 18 months and that it is still OK and healthy for him to be nursing. Then I find out that that is all he does. He isn't interested in trying new foods (he does eat chicken nuggets and cheese). He nurses all night and doesn't play by himself. Well, my testing showed that he does not know how to play. It turns out that the only interaction this toddler receives from his mother is while he is in her lap breastfeeding. She does not get on the floor to play with him. She does not read to him. They do not go outside and play. She says that when she places him on the floor with toys he just sits there and doesn't know what to do. When I ask what he does when she plays with him with the toys on the floor she tells me that she has never tried that. Well, the problem here is not that the child is nursing too much it is that his mother is not guiding him in the way that is natural for so many of us. A lot of mother's don't know how to "play" with their child. This family had fallen into a rut. I gently brought all of this to the mom's attention and encouraged her to just spend time with her child and then he will be too interested in the world to be nursing all day. I never suggested that she wean her child but I gave her all kinds of "homework" to teach her how to support his needs to catch him up developmentally.

Breastfeeding is one of the best gifts that every mother should try their best to provide for their child. But it is not the only thing that makes a nurturing supportive mother.

Night time nursing

2010-05-10T10:07:00.000-07:00

Ben is getting a lot better at self serve at night. My guess was he would be about 4 months old when he would be able to scoot up to me and latch on on his own. He will be 4 months old soon enough. he gets a little frustrated though when he finds a pesky night shirt in his mouth. Large tank tops that can be pulled down are the easiest to wear. There is nothing more frustrating than an infant trying to suckle your shirt.

Mother's Day

2010-05-09T13:19:00.001-07:00

Ben and I took a moment during the service today at church to catch a snack.

The bride's room

2010-05-06T13:59:00.000-07:00

I attended an EI conference today. I brought my breastpump along for the ride. The conference was at a fairly large church so I was confident that there would be a room available fro me to pump. I was even going to pump in the dreaded bathroom if need be. There were no outlets in the very clean quiet bathroom so I went hunting for another spot. I guess I looked like I was looking for something so someone who worked there asked me if I need something. I told her what I needed and she directed me to someone who could literally unlock doors. I was allowed to pump in The Bride's Room. It was a room where brides who are married at this huge church get ready. It was something out of a movie. There was a 360 mirror in there and plenty of light. Not quite the angle a mom likes to see herself in with bright lights! I set up and was about to pump. Then I realized I had left one of my phalanges at home. I pumped on one side and then the other. It took twice as long and since I was in a new place I didn't want to take up the room so I cut the session short. I only pumped about 4 ounces. Everyone was nice though and did not even blink at my request. All in all a good day!

Donated milk

2010-05-05T12:02:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine has a family member with a new baby. The mom is not breastfeeding because her doctor recommended that she did not so she could stay on a needed medication. The baby has been switched to all kinds of formulas and now they are suggesting Alimentum. That formula is really expensive. When I asked my friend if the mom has tried donated milk she said she was pretty sure the mom had never even heard of it. I offered to donate her some of my frozen milk to help the baby get over his digestive problems right now. My friend is going to ask the mom. In my neck of the woods not many people breastfeed let alone use donated milk. It is rare but it does happen.

Wasted milk

2010-05-03T14:01:00.001-07:00

I pulled a bag of frozen milk out of the freezer last Thursday. I thought Ben would need it when I was at work Friday. He never needed it. It was a good thing that he is nursing more but I hated to waste hard earned breastmilk. Thawed milk doesn't keep long. I ended up throwing this bag out. That was not a good feeling.

Evan and his Froggie!

2010-05-03T08:19:00.000-07:00

I am a big fan of dramatic play. That being said Evan said his Froggie was hungry and that he was going to give him "micky mouse milk". I am not sure where the "micky mouse" part came from. I turned around and saw that he was "nursing" his baby froggie. I told him he was doing a great job. I reminded him that mommies were the ones with milk and I asked him if he was the mommy or the daddy? I was on the fence on wanting to totally support his imaginative play and to have a biology lesson. Play won out and my 3 year old son was fully supported in "nursing" his baby froggie!!

Lunch break!!

2010-04-30T10:15:00.000-07:00

I had to take Eliot home from daycare today because of a stomach bug. She was not happy about it at all. (Who likes to leave the playground under any circumstances?)Since I had to hand her off to Dad I woke Ben up while I was at home and nursed him. He nursed so well from one side that I went back to work lopsided!! So worth it though! I may not need to pump at all. I like to breastfeed from one side at each feeding. If Ben is still hungry I'll offer the other side but generally I don't have to. Especially at night I don't like to switch sides. Hook up and go back to sleep is the name of the game. Ben is almost able to snuggle up and latch on without any help if I don't have shirt on. I give him one more month and he will be a pro.

Refusing the bottle

2010-04-29T10:16:00.001-07:00

OK, this is actually a good thing. Ben is almost 3 and a half months old. He has been nursing well for a few weeks. I have plenty of milk in the fridge and I am pumping at work. He has started to not drink a lot from a bottle with Dad. Dad is a bit worried. I am happy! He would rather wait for "ninnies" from mama!! As long as he takes an ounce or two of breastmilk from something while we are seperated to stay hydrated I am fine with this new development. Annika did the same thing. She was a bit older though. Ben eats all night long so I am sure he is getting what he needs.

Pretty much back to normal

2010-04-26T09:19:00.000-07:00

I am back at work after a successful weekend of nursing. Baby Ben got one bottle of expressed breastmilk to give me a little break but that was it. I am pumping at work right now. Mondays are always the worst. have to get back in the swing oj pumping after having the weekend off. I have noticed that he will nurse real quickly and be done in about five minutes and be good for hours sometimes. I wonder if he is really getting enough. Then I step back and remember that even if he eats less it is of such high quality he doesn't need as much. I still keep those formula checklist in the back of my head. I need to clear them out!

The effect of pain

2010-04-25T07:15:00.000-07:00

I have had a sensitive spot on my right breast since Friday night. I am not sure if it is a blocked duct or something else. All I know is that it feels like a big bruise that keeps getting pressed on. My mood has been horrible. I had a very short fuse on Saturday and just wanted to stay in bed all day. I am better now but it is amazing how a little pain can effect all those around you. Ben got a bottle of expressed milk to give me a break yesterday.

Wow! Almost 2 weeks..

2010-04-23T10:38:00.000-07:00

It has been nearly two weeks that Ben has been nursing for all his feeds when I am with him. He still gets one to two bottles of expressed breastmilk from a bottle when I am at work but the rest is fresh from the tap! What's going to be interesting is that this Sunday I will be working in the nursery at church. I want to take him but I will be working and not be able to just ignore the other children and feed him. I may have other infants to hold. I will definitely bring my sling but I am sure my hands will be full!

Whoa.....

2010-04-22T09:21:00.000-07:00

My supply was all over the place today, literally. I was so full at work that I actually had to pump early because I was starting to hurt some and it was distracting. I guess I was thrown off from yesterday. I nursed Ben at work and didn't pump at all. He snacked this morning but didn't do much for emptying my breasts. So I was on overproduction overload. I was checking a favorite site I follow (The Leaky Boob) while I was pumping at work and woe and behold I looked down and I had pumped nearly twice as much as I usually do. Oh great.... now I'll never get all this milk everywhere under control again. (I say all of that with a light grateful heart that my supply is so abundant!!)

Ben, you're all wet...

2010-04-21T18:12:00.000-07:00

Since I didn't pump at work today I was a bit overfull when I got home from work. Ben was asleep and I considered pumping before he woke up. I didn't though. When he did wake up I fed him and then we played for a little while. I looked down and saw that Ben's clean shirt was all wet. I was frustrated that he had wet through his diaper. And apparently he had wet all over my shirt too. Then I realized I had it wrong. I had leaked all over his shirt!!

Hanging out at the playground

2010-04-21T12:15:00.001-07:00

I took the kids to the playground yesterday. I am not overly modest and I don't mind nursing in public. We were at the playground for over an hour. Ben got hungry so he got fed. Plain and simple.

Baby Ben came to work today!

2010-04-21T12:06:00.000-07:00

I have been wanting to show Ben off at work lately. I finally got the chance. I brought him in and let him visit with everyone. When he got hungry he got a little snack before I took him off to meet Dad at Grandma's house. Since I fed him once at work and again at Grandma's house

I didn't pump at work at all. I don't think I will stay and work late today. I am a little overful.

The two year old said what?

2010-04-20T13:45:00.000-07:00

This morning before I left for work I nursed Ben one last time. I was already dressed so I had to take my nursing pad out of my bra. I sat it next to me on the bed. Eliot, my two year old, came up to me and picked it up. She said "Mama, your boobie hat" as she tried to hand it back to me. She knew what it was for (sort of). I laughed pretty hard!!

Picture of the day (Ok, it was actually taken yesterday)

2010-04-20T07:33:00.000-07:00

We made it to 3 months!

2010-04-18T14:04:00.001-07:00

I can hardly believe that Ben and I have made it to 3 months. I know I already celebrated the 12 week mark but the actual 3 month mark means so much to me. Ben has not needed a bottle at all this weekend. He is doing great. I do get some pain when he latches on if he isn't positioned correctly but other than that we aren't having any problems. I still have a lot of milk in the freezer. I have let go of my anxiety over thinking I don't have enough milk saved up. That is no longer a problem. Ben will need some thawed milk tomorrow because I haven't pumped any this weekend. When I do pump at work I have been pumping about 2 to 4 ounces more than what Ben needs for the next day. That extra milk is still going into the freezer.

2010-04-17T15:20:00.000-07:00

I haven't had to pump at all today. Ben has gotten all he has needed nursing. I haven't had to offer any expressed breastmilk either. I am comfortable too. I haven't been engorged or anything. It has been so nice! We should be able to keep it up. I am trying to come to terms with my weight though. I want to aggressively diet but I know it will effect my supply. (It's happened before.) I just need to accept my weight and increase my activity level. Hopefully I will be able to loose weight slow and steady. I have 10 pounds to loose to be where I was before Ben. 16 pounds to loose to be where I was before Eliot. And, 27 pounds to be at my ideal weight. (What I weighed before I had Connor.)

Pumping once a day

2010-04-14T10:15:00.000-07:00

I am now only pumping once a day. It seems like everything is going well. Ben nurses before and after work and during the night and takes two bottles in the middle of the day for Dad. I am pumping the exact amount he needs at noon for his next day's feedings. It was a hard first 12 weeks but it was worth it. I almost gave up there for a minute. I am not going to rush to food with Ben. With Eliot, my 2 year old, I waited till she was pulling food off my plate to start her on food. I stopped nursing her around 4 months old. There were a lot of reasons for that. She wanted table food around 6 months old and was eating most soft table food by 8 months old. She did that without any coaxing. She rarely had baby food. Unless Ben starts to pull it off my plate I am not going to offer him any food until he is 6 months old. Even then I am not going to push it. We will see how he does. I just hope I can keep him supplied with plenty of breastmilk when he gets bigger and needs more. I would like to try to cut out my midday pumping session one day. Maybe he will be like his big sister Annika. I didn't have to pump when she was over 6 months old. She just adjusted her schedule to nurse when I was at home and ate some food when we were separated while I was at work. My supply was fine.

A good night

2010-04-12T10:35:00.001-07:00

It was a good night last night.I almost couldn't sleep because I wanted Ben to wake up and need to nurse. Dad asked me how many times did he wake up. I said none really because he would just nurse and go back to sleep. He nursed about four times last night. It was great. I think we may be on the road to getting to a normal nursing relationship. What I was doing before was normal too but I just don't want to have to wash breastpump parts all day long anymore. I am pumping right now for the first time today. My goal was to have a midday session and nurse Ben as soon as I get home. I nursed him before I left for work. I soaked through I mean all the way through my cotton nursing pad. My shirt was even wet. All of this nursing has increased my supply again. It will probably take me a good week to get everything under control. I just hope I don't get too sore. Ben likes to bite.

Way to go Ben!

2010-04-11T12:09:00.000-07:00

Ben has only had about 2 ounces of milk today in a bottle. All of the rest of his feeds have totally come from the source. We will see how tomorrow goes when I go back to work. I'll try to nurse him before I leave and as soon as I get home. Maybe I can get away with only a mid day pumping session at work. Hopefully we can get on a normal schedule.

Nursing like a pro

2010-04-10T17:06:00.000-07:00

Ben nursed last night a few times. I was comfortable and he knew just what to do. Today I ended up nursing nearly all day. I had to work a little in the morning. Dad gave a bottle of expressed breastmilk before I got home. It is 7:15pm right now and I haven't pumped today at all. I'll probably pump tonight in a little bit and freeze it. I have three bottles of breastmilk in the fridge that need to be used. Because they have some thawed milk in them I can't refreeze them. I hate for them to go to waste. We will see how tomorrow goes. I won't be separated from Ben at all. I always tell moms to be that the first three months are the hardest. If you can make it till then things get better. I would love to stop pumping three times a day. I have plenty of milk in the freezer for when I am at work. I'll just have to take it one day at a time.

Sweet baby in the middle of the night...

2010-04-09T11:01:00.000-07:00

Ben latched on fine last night. I had to lighten this picture a little just so you could see him. Such a sweet boy.

Breastmilk makes my tummy yummy

2010-04-06T14:37:00.001-07:00

This book always causes a stir when friends of mine who have never breastfed see it. I like it!!

Milk, Money, and Madness

2010-04-05T06:28:00.001-07:00

This book helped steer me on the path that I am on. I came across it randomly at the library when I lived in Charleston, South Carolina. It is not a how to breastfeed book but rather a WHY to breastfeed book. It helps detail the ins and outs of the World Health Organization's (WHO's) policies on breastfeeding. I reread it every few years. I have reviewed it on amazon.com. You can go to amazon and read my review if you like. I need to buy the updated version and see if I am missing out on any new information. Anyone who is considering breastfeeding and wants all of the information should definitely read this book.

Keeping up with Annika

2010-04-02T15:11:00.000-07:00

Annika, my fourth child, was born at 28 weeks. I breastfed her three older siblings and was familiar with using a breastpump. I never thought I would be using it exclusively for nearly three months as I waited for her to come home. I was lucky enough to qualify for a free rental hospital grade breastpump while she was in the hospital. I had complications from the emergency c-section I had to welcome Annika into this world. I spent a few weeks in the hospital and missed a lot of time from work after the delivery. It seemed like the only constant for me sometimes was my pumping schedule. I always pumped at 2am. Annika was always weighed at 2am. When I was finished I would call the NICU to see how much she weighed. Since we lived nearly 30 miles from the hospital and I had other children to care for I didn't get to visit Annika as often as I wanted to. This 2am check-in meant a lot to me. The house was quiet and the nurses had the time to talk to me. To help bulk her up they requested that I bring in some bottles of hindmilk. I was producing so much milk that my freezer was packed and the nurses asked me not to bring anymore in because their freezer was full and they needed room for the other babies' milk. Annika came home 2 weeks shy of her due date. She started nursing just fine when she came home. She nursed till she was about 14 months old. She is a happy 7 year old who has a seizure disorder but other than that healthy and not worse for wear from being born early.

Latching on today

2010-04-02T12:46:00.000-07:00

After a busy day at the park Ben latched on great for an afternoon nursing session. He did fine on the right side. Last night he was able to latch onto the right side without any problems. Instead of taking away milk from my pumping sessions theses nursing moments only seem to be increasing my milk supply. As I type this post I am pumping and cuddling with my 2 year old as Ben is asleep in Dad's arms. Life is not too bad at times.

Danny's first Thanksgiving Day

2010-04-01T12:05:00.000-07:00

I was working full time at a gambling game room Thanksgiving Day 1996. My husband at the time brought my oldest and at the time only child to have "dinner" with me. As part of my job I was not allowed to leave the room that I hosted. (It was South Carolina law that stated every 5 video poker games had to be supervised by one employee. ) It did not matter that there were no people playing the games at that time. My husband left Danny with me and went to go fix us a plate of food. My supervisors had set up a buffet style Thanksgiving dinner. I sat on the floor and started to nurse Danny. He was about 7 months old at the time. My boss came around and saw us. He didn't say anything derogatory but he just looked at Danny and me and then said "Oh, I thought he was a hand baby." When I started work there I informed them that I needed to pump on my lunch break. The only place I had to pump in private was the bathroom. I had to use a battery powered inferior pump to pump in there because there wasn't an outlet. Because I was still breastfeeding in my boss's mind I must have a newborn baby at home. That is where the "hand baby" comment came from. It may just be a southern saying but it means you have a baby that you would hold in a cradle position in your arms. If it is an older infant that is looking around and awake they don't qualify as "hand babies". Wow, I didn't think a 7 month old was considered too old to be nursing till he made me think about it. This event pops in my head all the time when I am reminded of where we all feed our babies and how old they are at that time. Danny will be 14 years old this month. I have grown so much as a woman and a mother but he will always be dear to me as my first nursing baby.

Down to two pumpings a day...yeah right

2010-04-01T11:53:00.000-07:00

I have skipped my 2pm pumping session for two days in a row. I was able to pump more milk at my 8pm session for those two days to more than make up the difference. Today may be a different story. This morning I only pumped about 9 ounces where I had been getting close to or more than 12 ounces. I am afraid if I wait till 8pm to pump again I'll continue to go down. Yeah, I know a few posts back I was complaining about milk everywhere!! Maybe I am just paranoid. My main goal is to be able to pump enough for Ben to have the next day when I am at work. My secondary goal is to have extra milk to freeze for the future. I am off to pump right now. We will see what happens!

Stop looking at the numbers on the side...

2010-04-01T11:43:00.000-07:00

Ben gets the majority of his breast milk from a bottle. Lately I have been paying way too much attention to how much he drinks. Some times he will only take 6 ounces in a 10 hour period when I am work. I forget that the nutritional value of breastmilk is higher than formula. To get what his body needs he does not need a lot. A child on total formula would actually need more formula to make up for the inferior nutrition it contains. And there is the whole topic of poopie. Look how much literal crap is produced by a formula fed baby. It comes from somewhere. Ben poops every 2 to 3 days sometimes. It is never very much unless he goes for longer than that. I need to just stop thinking about the numbers. He eats when he is hungry whether it is from a bottle of from me. Even though my expressed breastmilk is very valuable to me I need to stop trying to get him to finish that last half of an ounce. Even when he takes his milk from a bottle he can demand feed and be held to a schedule or to my agenda.

Root canal led to what?

2010-03-31T11:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to the dentist to get an old filling replaced. Well, the dentist found the tooth was in need of a root canal. My dentist just kept going and two hours later I was maxed out on my dental benefits and the proud owner of a new big filling and two smaller ones. Well, this threw off my whole pumping schedule. I ended up skipping my 2pm pumping session. I went ahead and waited till 8pm to pump to see if that affected my supply at all. I ended up pumping more than I would have at my 2pm and 8pm session combined. So, it all worked out in the end. I am debating whether to try that again today. I am just afraid I may loose my supply and rev up my fertility. I am one of those lucky moms who do not have a period while they are nursing. I am not ready for that to resume. We will see what happens.

I took my time...

2010-03-25T11:38:00.000-07:00

I used my new bottles today and I was able to pump 12 ounces total. One side was an ounce behind but I still think that is not too bad. I am not going to push myself but we will see how much I can work up to. I am still only pumping about 6 to 8 ounces at my 2pm and 8pm sessions. I have been able to keep up with Ben and still have some left over to freeze for the future.

I did it....

2010-03-24T11:36:00.000-07:00

I was able to pump what I expected to this morning with my new bottles. I was a little rushed because I had to go meet Dad at the pediatrician's office for Ben's 2 month well visit and immunizations. I pumped about 11 ounces and I know I could have gotten at least a half of an ounce more from each side if I would have had the time. We'll see what tomorrow holds.

How much milk?

2010-03-23T11:59:00.000-07:00

Lately during my early morning pumping session I have been filling up the bottle on my right side. The left still has room for about 3 more ounces. It is so weird because in the past it has always been the opposite. I need bigger bottles. The bottles I use now hold about 6 ounces maximum. I have a few bigger bottles at home that will fit my pump but they are made of glass. They are just too heavy for my band to hold up hands free especially when they are full. So, I bought three big plastic bottles today. They should work just fine. I'll wash them tonight and try them out in the morning. I am still pumping a lot more at work than I am at home. I think it is because I am not distracted at work. I have my quiet little storage room where no one bothers me and my book and I pump away. At home on the weekends or on days off I have all these little people clamoring for attention. My plan was to take off some more days this Spring but maybe I'll go to work in the mornings and just take off early so I don't mess up a good thing. That would have to be the strangest reason to ever want to go to work!!

Clogged again?

2010-03-20T17:48:00.000-07:00

Last night I was very uncomfortable. I had a blocked duct in my left breast. I have been lucky enough that I haven't gotten an infection yet. Hopefully I won't. I have only had mastitis once and never want to go there again. I didn't want to pump extra to try and work the blockage out because I would just end up with more milk. By the morning I was miserable. I was achy even when I didn't move a muscle. I put Ben to the breast to nurse hoping that would help some too. He nursed OK for a bit and then I pumped. I made extra sure to empty my breast and voila the blockage was gone and I felt pretty good.

Remembering when....

2010-03-19T13:39:00.000-07:00

A memory of my breastfeeding journey always comes to mind when I think about Lyn (she's my 11 year old daughter). I was separated from her when she was less than a month old. I had to travel nearly across the country by car to pick up Danny from his dad. I was pumping along the way. I was just dumping the milk because I did not have a cooler or anything with me to keep the milk cool. My brother was actually doing the driving. I had a pitiful battery powered single pump that really was worthless. On the ride back after I picked Danny up I tried to give him some of the milk in a sippy cup (he was 2 and a half). He didn't want any part of that. I was able to maintain my milk suppy OK when Lyn was a baby. When she was about a month or two old I was separated from her again. It is a long story that doesn't pertain to breasfeeding so I'll spare its telling. We were separated for weeks and my pitiful pump finally gave out. I did not think to go get a professional grade one. I was 24 at the time and not the old experienced mom I am now. I had not pumped for about a day and a half when we were finally reunited. I put her to the breast right away. She seemed to try. She remembered what to do a little bit. My heart was just in it at that time. I weaned her shortly afterwards. Looking back I know I would have nursed her more if I would have had a better pump. Oh well. When she was about 9 months I did order a good manual pump with the thought of relactating. I was in nursing school by then and had become a little bit more educated on breastfeeding. I knew it was possible to relactate. I tried but not very hard. I ended up giving the pump to my boyfriend at the time's sister who was about to have a baby. She knew nothing about breastfeeding. When I visited her a month or so after she had her baby I saw the pump on the table with a full bottle of pumped milk in it and it did my heart some good to think I influenced her a little bit to try breastfeeding. She did not even try with her older two kids. That was my memory of nursing Lyn.

Nursing Connor

2010-03-19T13:38:00.000-07:00

(This is a repost from my main blog)

Connor is my third child and my second son. He was born December 21, 2000. This post is about his early breastfeeding adventures. I had already successfully breastfed my older two children. I was confident that I would have minimal difficulties nursing Connor. Connor's delivery was fairly uneventful. I labored as long as I could at home and made it to the hospital in time. As soon as he was born and cleaned up a little bit I put him to the breast. He had no trouble figuring out what do. He was almost a pro from the get go. We went home and continued to enjoy a productive nursing experience for a day or two. Then I noticed I was getting more than sore. No matter what strategy I tried nothing helped. I looked up all kinds of information and read every book I could get my hands on to try to figure out what was wrong. Finally I discovered that Connor had an unusually high palette. The roof of his mouth was so high that he was always pulling unevenly when he nursed. I tried rotating him around for each feeding. I tried to give each side a rest periodically and alternate pumping. My only hope was for him to grow into his high palate. As his mouth got a little bit bigger his seal was more even and everything healed up and we had a good stretch nursing. All of this took about two weeks. When Connor was three weeks Christmas break was over and I had to go back to college. I was one semester from completing my associates degree. I found a daycare that would accept infants 3 weeks old. He was the only baby in his class so he got a lot of attention. I hated to leave him but I did not feel that I had much of a choice at the time. He did well switching from the breast to the bottle. None of my kids ever had the "cursed" nipple confusion. My supply was pretty well established. He usually had mostly breast milk in his bottles. Occasionally he had half formula and half breast milk in his bottles. I did not let this trouble me. I have always felt that any amount of breast milk is better than none. I was waiting for Connor to reach 6 weeks old so that I could move him to his brother and sister's daycare. They did not accept children till that age. It was a fairly decent daycare and I was comfortable having the kids attend. Right before Connor was set to move to his new daycare a new nursing dilemma arose. Connor had thrush. This is a yeast infection that invades mucus membranes such as the mouth. Well, during breastfeeding Connor transferred this infection to his mama. And so the cycle began. I figured I needed to be aggressive to break this cycle. Creams just didn't cut it. My doctor and Connor's doctor both prescribed us an oral anti-fungal medication, (fluconazole). We ended up having to take four doses to knock it out. By now Connor was 6 weeks old. My milk supply was steady. School was going well and Connor was thriving. He was a chubby little boy. I always tell moms to be and new moms that ask that it usually takes a good solid 6 weeks to get to know your nursing baby and establish a good breastfeeding relationship. Connor was my most challenging beginning nurser but we enjoyed a good run till he was 11 months old.

2 months old!

2010-03-19T12:56:00.001-07:00

Ben was officially 2 months old yesterday. I took him to his first WIC appointment this morning. Dad, Eliot and Evan came along too. Evan and Eliot were getting recertified. Ben and I were getting certified as a breastfeeding pair. I don't need any formula provided for us so I signed up for the total breastfeeding package. They weighed him today. He weighs 12 pounds. He just doesn't seem that big to me. His appointment was early this morning so it threw off my 8am pumping session. I almost wanted to whip it out and nurse him at the health department but I knew it would throw me off schedule. I was uncomfortable though. I gave him a bottle of breastmilk sitting in the waiting room. I wanted to scream out to the other moms in the room "this is breastmilk in this bottle!!". So few moms take advantage of the breastfeeding package from WIC. Most moms just take the free formula even though it isn't enough to last their babies all month. They would be better off getting the hybrid package so they could have food for mom AND formula for the baby if needed. Just providing a little breastmilk to your baby can help a food budget go further instead of having to spend money on formula. That stuff can be expensive.

When I finally got to work this morning and was able to pump I was so full that I pumped nearly 10 ounces. Lately I have been averaging 6 to 7 ounces at my early morning pump.

8 weeks old

2010-03-16T17:13:00.000-07:00

Ben nursed pretty well last night before we went to bed. I was even able to nurse him in the middle of the night. I know he was getting some milk because my breast emptied and I could hear him swallow. I could even see milk dribbling out of the corner of his mouth. He must have still been hungry though because both times he took a bottle of expressed breast milk less than an hour later. In the middle of the night I tried to get Ben to hang on and suckle for a while and go back to sleep but he didn't want any part of that. With the other kids that was always an easy way to get them to go back to sleep but not Ben. At least he is able to nurse easily now a few times a day.

Better at work?

2010-03-14T13:30:00.000-07:00

It is very curious that I am able to pump more milk at work than I am at home. Even if I pump the same length of time I get less at home. I think it is because I have too much going on at home. The little kids are always running in and out of the room and Ben needs my attention. Stress is a powerful thing. Today being Sunday I have pumped a total of 3 ounces less than I would on a week day. Go figure.

Ben 12 hours old

2010-03-14T13:19:00.000-07:00

I took this video myself in the hospital in the middle of the night when Ben was just 12 hours old. He was not the best at latching on even in the beginning. This is the only nursing video I have of any of the kids.

First picture

2010-03-12T12:02:00.000-08:00

The picture of Ben nursing on this blog is the first picture I have ever taken of one of my babies at the breast. It was taken a week or so ago. I even wrote about his good latch that day on this blog. I am not an overly modest person. I will breastfeed in public if need be. I can not believe though that I do not have any pictures of my other kids nursing. I feel like I missed out on a piece of their past and their babyhood that I will never get back. I can feel each of them in my arms and at the breast. They were all so different but I don't have any pictures. If I ever have any more children I will make sure to add "booby" pictures to my to do list!