Oh the tears...

I cried on Monday. Ben is hurting my feelings but I know it is not his fault. I went to the store and bought one can of formula. I know I can pump and get a back up supply again. I know all the arguments about using formula. I preach them all the time myself. But today I gave Ben a little formula. Or rather I made a bottle handed it to Dad, ran a bath, and cried alone in the bathtub till the 4 and almost 3 year old came and got in with me. Ben seems so hungry and I really think he wants some food. But then he won't eat off of a spoon. So I gave him some food but it was yucky formula. He seems so satisfied after he takes a bottle even when it is just breastmilk in the bottle. He doesn't seem to like nursing. I did get him to sleep with me a little last night. It was so sweet. He just likes his space. Normally I have to put him right back in his bed at night after I feed him.