Talk about the good

I need to celebrate the good as well as lament the bad. Ben and I are a great nursing pair these days. It is like they rough beginning was just a dream or a nightmare at times. This morning before I left for work I tried to get Ben to nurse and he just flat out laughed at me. He is always in such a good mood in the mornings. Hopefully our nursing relationship will be a long one.

Oh my goodness!!

I forgot all of my breast pump parts at home. I washed them and set them to dry this morning and grabbed my bag. I left all the parts sitting by the sink. I got set up at work to pump and opened my bag and ahhhh!! I forgot everything at home. I was supposed to work late today because I went in late because of Evan's doctor's appointment. Now I am all out of whack. I can't stay late if I can't pump!! I'll have to head home by 2pm. I feel like such a blond. (I did highlight my roots last night :) .)

Come on Ben...

Ben is just not wanting to nurse very much right now. Maybe I am just paying too much attention to all of this. His weight is good. (He doesn't quite have enough room for another chin!) He is happy. I just have so much milk I don't know what to do. It is like when my milk came in. I don't want to pump more because then I will just make more. Yesterday i met Dad with Ben for lunch. Ben ate pretty good but he only emptied one and half breasts. That is half more than he usually does. I guess I sort of force fed him hopping he would give me some relief. No such luck. I refused to pump when I got back to work because I didn't want to keep this over abundance cycle up. Since my pump was clean I left it at work. When I got home Ben was asleep. This is too much. He nursed some before bed and a little at night. I am going to pump today a little early just to get some relief. I guess this is all better than not having enough milk. Now, in two months when he has another growth spurt I will be singing a different tune!

What, again?

Ben didn't really nurse much last night again. I am a little worried about him. If I were with him during the day I wouldn't mind as much because I could catch him up on his feeds. But because I am at work I am worried. Dad has plenty of milk to feed him from a bottle but it is just not the same. I want to be in control. (It's strange, most bottle moms think they are in control with the bottle.) I guess he is just not needing as much milk. He is not acting fussy so I don't think his ears are hurting him when he sucks. I don't think he is teething and not wanting to suck. He is happy. I think he is just not hungry. I miss our night time feeds though. That was our total mama and baby time with everyone else asleep.

Sleeping through the night?

Ben started off the night in the boys' room. Usually when I go to bed he needs to nurse and then he just stays with me. Well, last night Dad slept with him in the boy's room and he was never brought to me. I finally couldn't sleep without him in my arms so I went to check on him. I was actually anxious that something was wrong and that he wasn't breathing. I rubbed his back firmly and he wiggled. I scooped him up and told Dad I was going to feed him. I snuggled down with him and fed him. He nursed pretty well and then went right back asleep. But it was 4:30am and almost time to get up. I can't believe he slept so long. I was so worried about him. I guess I will see how he does tonight.

Everything is going fine

Ben was weighed at Granny's house today. Unofficially he weighs 15 pounds. He is doing great. Nursing has been going along like clockwork. We haven't had any problems for quite a while now. Looking back it was really hard but it was definitely worth it. I am so glad I did not give up!

Breastfeeding vs. Play

OK, this post is a little different. It is not so much a bit of my own story as it is about my ideals on nurturing children and helping them become the best they can be. As a part of my job I evaluate children under three years old for developmental delays. And if they show delays I provide services for them to help their development. Breastfeeding comes up fairly often. Some moms have special needs children that are born with a diagnosis and they need assistance in establishing or supporting a breastfeeding relationship. Others have a toddler that they want to wean and because that child has a delay they do not know how to go about the process, child led or not. (How do you let a child lead his own weaning process when he is incapable of communicating needs beyond a 6 month old developmental level?) All in a day's work.

But where did the title of this post come from? Because I come in contact with so many families with infants and toddlers I do see a lot of breastfeeding moms (not near the amount I want to see!). Well, occasionally I see a child that nurses ALOT and I evaluate their needs. They sometimes end up showing a measurable delay in their social, communication, and cognitive skills. This happened with one family I met. After I get a family history and observe the family for a while and ask what they feel their most frustrating moments are they share a surprising thing. The mom is tired of nursing. My gut response is to remind her that her child is only 18 months and that it is still OK and healthy for him to be nursing. Then I find out that that is all he does. He isn't interested in trying new foods (he does eat chicken nuggets and cheese). He nurses all night and doesn't play by himself. Well, my testing showed that he does not know how to play. It turns out that the only interaction this toddler receives from his mother is while he is in her lap breastfeeding. She does not get on the floor to play with him. She does not read to him. They do not go outside and play. She says that when she places him on the floor with toys he just sits there and doesn't know what to do. When I ask what he does when she plays with him with the toys on the floor she tells me that she has never tried that. Well, the problem here is not that the child is nursing too much it is that his mother is not guiding him in the way that is natural for so many of us. A lot of mother's don't know how to "play" with their child. This family had fallen into a rut. I gently brought all of this to the mom's attention and encouraged her to just spend time with her child and then he will be too interested in the world to be nursing all day. I never suggested that she wean her child but I gave her all kinds of "homework" to teach her how to support his needs to catch him up developmentally.

Breastfeeding is one of the best gifts that every mother should try their best to provide for their child. But it is not the only thing that makes a nurturing supportive mother.

Night time nursing

Ben is getting a lot better at self serve at night. My guess was he would be about 4 months old when he would be able to scoot up to me and latch on on his own. He will be 4 months old soon enough. he gets a little frustrated though when he finds a pesky night shirt in his mouth. Large tank tops that can be pulled down are the easiest to wear. There is nothing more frustrating than an infant trying to suckle your shirt.

Mother's Day

Ben and I took a moment during the service today at church to catch a snack.

The bride's room

I attended an EI conference today. I brought my breastpump along for the ride. The conference was at a fairly large church so I was confident that there would be a room available fro me to pump. I was even going to pump in the dreaded bathroom if need be. There were no outlets in the very clean quiet bathroom so I went hunting for another spot. I guess I looked like I was looking for something so someone who worked there asked me if I need something. I told her what I needed and she directed me to someone who could literally unlock doors. I was allowed to pump in The Bride's Room. It was a room where brides who are married at this huge church get ready. It was something out of a movie. There was a 360 mirror in there and plenty of light. Not quite the angle a mom likes to see herself in with bright lights! I set up and was about to pump. Then I realized I had left one of my phalanges at home. I pumped on one side and then the other. It took twice as long and since I was in a new place I didn't want to take up the room so I cut the session short. I only pumped about 4 ounces. Everyone was nice though and did not even blink at my request. All in all a good day!

Donated milk

A friend of mine has a family member with a new baby. The mom is not breastfeeding because her doctor recommended that she did not so she could stay on a needed medication. The baby has been switched to all kinds of formulas and now they are suggesting Alimentum. That formula is really expensive. When I asked my friend if the mom has tried donated milk she said she was pretty sure the mom had never even heard of it. I offered to donate her some of my frozen milk to help the baby get over his digestive problems right now. My friend is going to ask the mom. In my neck of the woods not many people breastfeed let alone use donated milk. It is rare but it does happen.

Wasted milk

I pulled a bag of frozen milk out of the freezer last Thursday. I thought Ben would need it when I was at work Friday. He never needed it. It was a good thing that he is nursing more but I hated to waste hard earned breastmilk. Thawed  milk doesn't keep long. I ended up throwing this bag out. That was not a good feeling. 

Evan and his Froggie!

I am a big fan of dramatic play. That being said Evan said his Froggie was hungry and that he was going to give him "micky mouse milk". I am not sure where the "micky mouse" part came from. I turned around and saw that he was "nursing" his baby froggie. I told him he was doing a great job. I reminded him that mommies were the ones with milk and I asked him if he was the mommy or the daddy? I was on the fence on wanting to totally support his imaginative play and to have a biology lesson. Play won out and my 3 year old son was fully supported in "nursing" his baby froggie!!