Last night I was feeling pretty good and offered Elaina the breast several times. I thought she nursed OK. Her latch was halfway decent. I thought she was getting enough milk. She started to breathe funny. It almost sounded like she has aspirated some milk. She eventually fell back asleep and I offered her the breast when she started to show some feeding cues right before dawn. She fought me big time. I finally gave up and Dad gave her a bottle of expressed milk. I did not pump in the middle of the night and when I did pump around 8am I pumped over 8 ounces. I am not in a good place emotionally. I am good at making milk and I am good at nursing older babies but I am not great at nursing my new babies..... I am feeling a bit like a failure. I help moms through this as a CLC but I can't help myself.